if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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