pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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