It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Randomize
