her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
