if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
