You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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