do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
