how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You took a bar mat shot.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
