Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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