I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
