I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
