you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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