Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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