FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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