So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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