Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
whose ass print is on the piano?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
