she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
