He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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