I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
