Will you blow on my dice?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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