Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
