yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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