somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
