Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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