I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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