May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
