That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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