so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
