So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
