i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Randomize
