you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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