Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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