I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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