Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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