Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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