Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
