he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
