Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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