Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
