I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i out mim tonsoeep
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