Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
