sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
