somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I just found puke in my bra..
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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