Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
