Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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