The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
