Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
