no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
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