This girl is more easily done than said...
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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