she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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