I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I think I sprained my soul last night
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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