if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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