Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
